Speaking to college-age adults about drugs and alcohol may seem intimidating, but it is that avoidance of communication that leads to disaster.
Most parents have likely spoken to their young children about drugs and alcohol. Yet, when young adults enter college or university, the risks change. Binge drinking, experimenting with drugs, fentanyl, and overdose.
The risk of fentanyl, for example, is significant as the drug is found in most illicit substances. Overall, avoiding communication is not beneficial. Here are three tips for communicating effectively with your college-bound child.
Listen and avoid casting judgment: Two-way communication involves listening. Unfortunately, with the topic of drugs and alcohol, parents tend to avoid listening and begin going on the attack. Rightfully so, as these substances are dangerous, yet it is not a practical approach.
Every child has questions about drugs and alcohol. Young adults may have concerns and not know how to voice these concerns. Consider the following:
Ask open-ended questions, such as what do you know about fentanyl? Do you have any concerns about being offered drugs or too much alcohol? Are you worried about experimenting with drugs?
Listen to their answers, concerns, and opinions on the topic. Be prepared to provide factual information and real-life examples. More importantly, do not cast judgment but allow them to voice their opinions.
“Young adults do not want the lecture as they will make adult decisions either way. Yet, parents can still influence their decisions and provide prevention tips while listening to their concerns,” said Marcel Gemme of addicted.org.
Highlight the consequences of not having the information: During the two-way communication process, the topic of consequences will arise. It is essential to be realistic about this because the consequences are real. However, highlighting consequences does mean threatening them. There are severe repercussions with overindulging and experimenting with drugs. The reality is that it can lead to things like impaired driving, poor academic performance, being kicked out of school, legal trouble, sexual assault, posting inappropriate pictures or videos on social media, injury or overdose.
Speak to real-life examples or provide a personal experience. The purpose is not to scare them but to give them something to relate to and understand.
It is normal for young adults to think these things would never happen, especially with alcohol. Yet, underage college drinking is a significant public health concern.
Additionally, it is critical to highlight fentanyl. The drug is laced into cocaine, heroin, pain medication, methamphetamine, and cannabis. The risk of accidental overdose is real and life-threatening.
Most consequences are unintended, such as a social media post or believing you are fit to drive after a few drinks. The goal is to prepare them to make responsible choices and avoid binge drinking and drug use.
Communicate love and concern for their well-being: As parents, if you start from a place of love and concern, it opens the door to a fuller conversation. It is OK to still look out for their well-being and voice concerns.
Knowing that they are moving out establishes the perfect time for this conversation. Voice your concerns, help them be prepared and make good choices—express love and concern with physical and verbal language.
Help them understand that regardless of any choice they make, you are there to support them and help them. College-age adults need to know they have a support structure in a safe environment they can fall back on when something happens.
Communication is key; tackle it head on: Do not avoid the communication process, but avoid being judgmental and lecturing. A conversation about drugs and alcohol should occur like any other that prepares a young adult for life. Listen to what they have to say, but highlight the consequences. Help them realize they can make choices but must take responsibility for them.
Express love and concern for their well-being and remind them they always have a place to go and people to talk to if something happens. Tackle this process head-on and do not avoid it, as it is the responsibility of parents to speak about these things.
Michael Leach has spent most of his career as a health care professional specializing in Substance Use Disorder and addiction recovery. He is a regular contributor to the healthcare website Addicted.org and a Certified Clinical Medical Assistant.
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